Culture shock

Few things get fully accomplished around here in a day. Laundry is usually started, but by the time that second load is ready to come out of the drier, I'm already distracted.  Dishes usually make it into the dishwasher, it often gets turned on, it rarely gets emptied.  Mopping starts in the kitchen where it's always needed the most, but then it becomes permanantly stuck in the hallway for another day.  The vacuum sits in the upstairs hallway...for another day.

We take time for the important things. Like learning how to roll our tongue.

But meals are made and eaten. Once, twice, three times with lots of others stuck in there too. Energy is expended. We never forget about that task.  Yogurt pops are (begged for) and consumed numerous times a day. 

Mom got me and Genivieve two new books to share:

 Quinn wants to be a 'french bebe.'

And in a nutshell, I am slowly confirming what my heart believes and my mind fights.  Our kids are humans. Small, new to the world, humans.  Every culture has an opinion on how they should be raised, how they should behave, when they should eat, where they should sleep, and when they should stop nursing.  And within each of those cultures lies the parent, the friend, the co-worker, the neighbor who thinks you are doing it all right or all wrong. There isn't commonly room for error.  If you let your child cry to sleep, you're either mean or you are the one in control. If you let your child sleep in your bed and nurse to sleep, you don't care about your marriage and your kid is the boss.  But what these books are teaching me, is that as mothers and fathers, we are all just doing what is right for us. Our family. 
I've learned a lot. For example, why do I feel like it is necessary to have snacks on stand-by at all times? I am positive that growing up, we ate breakfast, we had a small snack, we ate lunch, we had a small snack, we ate dinner.  We didn't eat in the car, in the store, on a walk, on the way to the library.  We ate at home, at the table, when it was time to eat (apparently, much like the French).  Somehow, I've fallen into the trap of 'snacks solve all problems.' Meltdown #1, here eat a banana, tantrum #5, here you must need this yogurt, crying inconsolably #24, here you must eat this apple with peanut butter, crackers, granola bars, raisins...and the list goes on.  Something I am going to work on...maybe much to my little snackers' dismay.

This almost 5 year old can not resist a sparkle. Sparkles make her smile. A whole lot.

But what I've noticed even more than the non-issue of snacks, while reading these books, is the underlying message that mothers can all be different, they can all make different choices regarding lifestyle, child rearing, feeding choices, etc. yet still support eachother as women, mothers, wives, partners, and friends.  Because at the end of the day, we all know it's the best job in the world. The hardest, without a doubt, but the best.  I wouldn't trade my position for the world.  Do I want a break every now and then (or everyday)? Of course I do.  But not a day goes by that I don't think about the time when it's just Ryan and I here alone.  No babies to put to bed, no one to nurse and read fifteen stories too, no warm, clean bodies to bathe and cuddle every night.  No baby cups to wash and put away.  One day, probably too soon, that will be our life.  I wish to be able to say I drank up this time as a mother of three young kids, three active souls, three babes just learning their ways in this new-to-them world.  One day I hope to reflect on a band of mothers and sisters that supported eachother, were there for eachother to talk and to listen, free from judgement yet full of advice and empathy.  Three lives that I never take for granted, need me. Now and later.  We all do things differently.  Across states, neighborhoods, countries, and cities.  What we do is purely right for us.  What you do is purely right for you.
 Right now, what works for us seamlessly, is Quinn sleeping with me, Isabella sleeping in her bed and coming down to our bed in the early morning, and Ryan sleeping with Declan.  Is it ideal?  Probably not for most. But does it give five people the best rested night's sleep? You bet it does, and that's why it isn't changing.  I have never felt so refreshed as I have the past three days when Quinn (finally) slept all night.  The kids are happy in the morning, they relaxed as they slept with space and warm bodies and security.  I'm sure this situation will change again in a few months.  I'm not holding my breath it won't change in a few weeks.  But that's the beauty of kids and the flexibility we find we behold once they are born. 
My most comfortable and caring friends are those that have embraced our differences, questioned our ideas, learned from eachother's practices and at the end of the day, say to each other "You are a great mom. You are doing the best you can.  And you do love your babies."

And so, to tie this all together (and no, I'm not sure if that's even possible with that random mish mash of thoughts up there ^^)...On those days where the lists escape me and the plans are changed (again), at least we have a kid who willingly vacuums our deck.  His after dinner job was to use the dust-buster (his favorite thing EVER!) the dining room rug.  He loves that job. So much so, that he did the kitchen, the hallway, and yes, the back deck.  This all came to a halt when he tried to vacuum up the dirt from the planter.  He means business.