Fast

Isabella thinks that winter is over. She wonders why it isn't very cold, how she missed sledding, and how it is winter yet she never saw the snow.  I try to tell her that's there's still time. It's not over yet. But then we walk outside without a coat on, short sleeves, and they get to run.  She thinks that winter is definitly over.

I will forever have this time with my oldest, etched in my memory. I vow to permanently etch it there so that some day I can tell her all about it. Maybe when she calls to tell me about her little girl that wants to be a big girl now.  Over night she became a diva. She is particular to the hilt, about what she wears.  It has to be soft, it has to be comfortable, her sleeves can not go past her wrist, socks and tights can not have lines across the toes, shoes can not have the slightest speck of mud or dirt, no puffy sleeves, no jeans, ballet shoes and leotards preferable.  And if I pick it out--it's pretty much a no-go.  I am trying to be patient. So much so that I took her up to her room the other day, emptied her drawers and we went through every single piece of clothing and she had to give me a 'valid' reason to why she can no longer wear the item.  She had valid reasons, like: "Those jeans are hard mom. Please don't try to make me wear hard things." Or, "Those pants have  ruffles. Do your pants have ruffles? No. So, I can not wear pants with ruffles." Or "That shirt says 'snow' on it. Do you see any snow? It's not even winter. I can not wear a shirt that says 'snow' on it."  So in the end, her pants drawer held three items, her shirt drawer, five. And beside her dresser, just in case, are two piles, two feet high of clothes that just don't work right now.  But what did work today?  Her frilly pink and gray twirly dress with striped pink and green tights and sparkly, too tight mary janes.  That all seemed to work just right for her.

Oh, and an old,  pilly, princess sleeveless nightgown. In January. That's works too.
These three can push each other's buttons like nobody's business.  There are moments during the day when I watch them and appreciate the relationships they have.  Isabella is a protector. She wants to protect her brother and her sister, especially if either one is hurt. Declan just wants an ally, a partner.  If you show him some love, show him that you're on his side, then you're golden. Quinn just wants to boss everyone around. If you let her control the situation and have everything that you have, then it's perfect.  I am trying to be really patient with this time in our lives.  It is crazy.  They are busy and the busy doesn't stop.  There are glimpses throughout the day when the stars seem to align and everyone's content. But then Quinn wants Isabella's purse, Declan thinks it's a good time to play karate kid on his baby sister and Isabella is rehearsing for the drama club and is just "fed up with it all!"  It's normal, it's fleeting, and often times it is funny. Very frustrating, but pretty amusing.  A lady was behind me in the grocery store check out line today. She was looking at the kids who had a terrible case of the giggles and I was trying not to look at her because I was certain she was unhappy that she chose our line to get in.  Then she said to Declan and Isabella, "do you guys have the giggles today? my girls get the giggles still and they're all grown up now."  I gave a sigh of relief that I had her approval (what?) and then smiled at her. She smiled at me and told me about her daughter in college that she was going to visit because she was really sick. I watched her unload her cart full of honey, lemons, cold relief tea, pom juice, sushi, and more. Obvious items for her little girl that was not so little, but maybe still needed her mom.  She told me that when her girls were little, she thought time was slower. She didn't think they'd one day be grown.  Now, she said, they are older and are away at college and she misses them being small.  She told me that she knows how exhausting it is, how she had to nap when her kids napped because she would be so worn out, but how much she loved it.  It's hard to hear, but wonderful.  I know that these times are fleeting.  It's only been four and a half years and I feel like it's been my whole life.  One day my kids will be in college and I'll probably sit in a check out line, no one giggling around me, wriggling free from my arms, or begging for a pack of gum.  And I'm pretty sure I will miss it.  I know I will.  That is why, moments like this, must be remembered:

 Declan walked around with this Hanna Andersson catalog all morning.  He was picking out all of the little boy clothes with cars on them and telling me exactly what he wanted.  Then, he let the girls pick out all of their favorite clothes too. What a gentleman.

Their 'nest' in the papasan.

 I put Quinn in her Clemson outfit for Grandpa.  Minutes later, Declan appeared, Clemson shirt in hand so that he could look like Quinn.

 Home of the crazy cowlicks.

On another note, our chicken family has seen better days.  Two of our chickens have been 'taken to another farm' if you catch my drift. Always the chickens, never the roosters.  What a pain.  They haven't been laying eggs this winter, so they haven't been getting all the love they used to.  I hate that we are showing our chickens conditional love. Shame on us.  But Quinn is all about the chickens.  If I mention the word, she runs to the garage because she insists on carrying the food. And we can be long gone and completely involved in something new while Quinn hangs at the chicken coop.  She either has a thing for the chickens, or really likes picking up their teeny tiny pieces of food and throwing it to them through the chicken wire.  I'm thinking it's the food. 

Christmas is long gone, but the spirit lives on. And by spirit, I mean that Declan and Isabella still ask every time we pass the mailbox, if there is going to be a card in there for them.  Whenever Ryan would come home from work, having checked the mail on the way in, he'd usually give the kids the cards to open. They began to expect 'their' mail every day, and over a month later not much has changed. 
Walking to the mailbox is one of the 'favorite things' around here.  Even if it's just another bill that they get to open.  Declan was a big fan of the geico junk mail the other day.  He loves a lizard (gecko, I know, I know).

I'm not convinced things will slow down anytime soon.  Supposedly, things just get even busier.  Kindergarten is right around the corner for one little girl, and we have big decisions to make.  Yes life, I get it. You are exceptionally fast. But you can slow down now. Please. Please.