We change our routine like we change our underwear.

Just like the seasons, routines in our home change quickly. Ha, who am I kidding?  Things in our home change way more often than the seasons!  I read this today:
It has been said by experts, "You must be consistent, or your children will be confused."  Nonsense.  Who among us is consistent? Circumstances are always changing. Children become confused when parents become rigid, holding rules above love. Be consistently flexible. Hold tight only to compassion.
                                                                                                                                          -William Martin
Well, Mr. Martin, I thought it was all about "consistency."  Children need it, thrive with it, crave it.  Now we don't need it? Compassion is enough?  I don't know. I'm still turning this idea over in my head.  I get it. But I only agree with it under certain circumstances.  The real reason I held onto the quote is because it made me feel better. Selfish, maybe. But it is what it is.  I am not always consistent.  Ask Ryan.  I'm definitly also not always compassionate.  Circumstances in our home are always changing. Like, every single day.  I hold love above all else.  I think we're extremely flexible with ourselves and with our children.  And this quote couldn't have come at a better time than now.  As we have again fallen into a new routine because of new fears, old habits, and a mama's compassion. 

Declan is no longer a fan of his bed, sleeping, or night-time.  I call it "Isabella syndrome" because not long ago, she was relaying to us the same fears, the same tears, and the same worries that we are now hearing from Declan.  Ryan and I had fallen into the dreaded routine of spending hours getting the kids to sleep and the sleep wasn't even lasting through the night.  Declan realized that he can get out of bed, and come down the stairs. Isabella does the same. Quinn often wakes at some point in the night. Wherein lies my very stiff neck.   Ryan of course, in frustration, stated his plan to do XYandZ in order to "get everyone back to how it was." But we both knew that XYandZ wasn't going to happen come bedtime.  Mostly because putting our kids in bed to scream, cry, and hypervenilate was just never in our plan.  And never will be in our plan.  What is in our plan though, has worked out very well.  Out of the blue one night, mom suggested we just put both kids in our bed (then they wouldn't be alone), go through the bed time routine, and tell them that they needed to go to sleep and we would be right outside of the door (they could see or hear us).  So we tried it. And it worked. We weren't spending hours laying with the kids, sneaking away, stepping over every creak in the floor, and holding our breath until we were sure they were really out. Now, they get in bed, Declan harrasses Isabella until she agrees to him being practically on top of her, and they fall asleep. Then we move them to their beds later in the night.  Saves us two hours at night, and encourages them to believe that they are in fact, just fine falling asleep without us.  And I think it's good for their bonding too.  They have been having some, let's say, "disagreements" a lot lately as Declan's getting older and not listening to Isabella quite as readily as he used to, which leads to some major power struggles between two very strong willed children.  So when Isabella whispered to Declan the other night, "Okay, Declan, you want me to hold your hand? That will make you feel better?" as she cuddled up beside him nose to nose, because she knows he needs that touch to fall asleep.  Or tonight when the light from the bathroom was causing the ceiling fan to cast a large shadow on the wall and Isabella was talking about the "two fans in the bedroom." Declan looked at me and said "Mommy, I don't like shadows." I asked him why and he told me that shadows were scary and he didn't want to see them.  Isabella said "It's okay, just close your eyes." He's obviously going through something--hyper aware and sensitive to his environment and for now, we've had to change to accomodate.  And next week there may be a new arrangement.  Consistent, not always. But consistent in the ways that matter: feeling safe, feeling secure, and feeling loved, yes always.

Our weekend happenings:

And just as our night routine changes, so does our day.  Gone are the days of Quinn sleeping in, the older two playing, and me taking a quick shower.  Now it's all about planning. Three kids running free in the house doesn't work.  Mostly because of the dare devil one year old that likes to climb.  BUT, plop them down along with a pile of books, and I am gauranteed at least a few minutes to maybe put in my contacts or brush my teeth...

Need I say more? Kelly found a new cupcake shop in Charlottesville. If you think the picture looks good, you have no idea...

 The kids love being out on the deck when it's dark and we can turn the railing lights on.  Unfortunately, by the time we are getting them ready and into bed, it's just getting dark....Last night we didn't get home from the pool until 7:30, which resulted in eating dinner at 9:00, ice cream cones at 10:00, and some nice, long playtime on the deck--in the dark--with the railing lights on.

I am so in love with this face!

And this boy just makes my heart melt.  He always asks me if I'm happy, he's goofy and loving, and the boy loves his sister's shoes...

I think it's safe to say I am not a morning person.  Ryan loves to sleep, but if he has to wake up, he's definitly happy and crazy, so I'd consider him a morning person in attitude, not action. Our kids--definitly morning people--heck, if it's time to wake up, they're all for that.  But this kind of routine-morning-craziness, makes it a little easier.

Mom, Kelly, and I went to the Dixie to see Crazy, Stupid, Love.  Kelly made them all eggplant parmesan and Ryan and Taylor stayed home with the kids and had a movie night of their own, and watched Rio.  Apparently it was just a little different than ours.  I'm pretty sure these pictures were at the very beginning. I'm thinking the first 2 minutes or so.  They all look way too still for it to be any further along in the movie.

Even as adults, our routines change.  We're not always consistent. Some nights I'm up late, some nights I'm up really late, and some nights I can't keep my eyes open past 9:00.  Our mornings work the same way.  And in my moments of frustration, it's important that I remind myself of moments like tonight. To take advantage of the stillness that comes with laying down with Declan...one of the few times that he is still.  I treasure my time alone with Quinn, in the rocking chair, nursing her and holding her still body. And I always can count on Isabella to snuggle and be still and sweet.  Tonight when I went to check on Declan, I pulled him close and hugged and kissed him and he said "mommy, I love you, are you my best friend?" (and when you read this to yourself, insert an adorable lisp where all of the s's and r's are) I told him that I was definitly his best friend and he said "And Genivieve too. And I love everybody.  Daddy, Bella, Quinn...." and the list went on.  I hope he always stays this sweet.  These are the moments that I inhale, hoping for them to drown my memory so that I never forget.  The sweet voices, the lisps, the questions, and the I love you's.